Ever heard of the phrase, life is just a bed of roses?

Well there’s also the phrase, every rose has its thorns.

So put it in a big picture: Life is a bed of roses filled with thorns. I mean, looking at MY point of view, if one falls into a bed of roses, he will get pricked. Most definitely. So by putting the two quotes together, you get the wonder of life.

But still, the big question is what is the meaning of life? A mystery or so it seems to many. I for one hate it. I despise the fact that life is not fair. I despise the fact that life brings forth so much sorrow to my soul. I despise the fact that life has wound its torturous chains of negativity around me.

Introspective or so I may be but I am sick and tired of this happening so often. It bothers the heck outta me because the receiving end gets the sharp end of the sword. In the tale of the merchant of Venice, I quote from shylock;

“If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”

I cannot seek revenge on life.
It is but a pointless act upon myself.
Cutting my wrists will not do.
My black eyes do not speak the truth.
I for one cannot let my life lie in fate’s hands.
I will break the walls between building atrophy.
And cause all my problems to recede.
It is what I must do.

TTFN

Okie dokie. I’m off to meet my sister at tampines mall for a starbucks then im going to bugis street to do a wee bit of shopping. I still gotta get something for someone for tomorrow. And to get myself a few new shirts. But oh well, I have a vague idea of what im getting that someone but I gotta travel so far to find it. But well it’s worth it I think. Anyway,

I LOVE TOUHOU.

Imperishable Nights ROCKS LA..

It’s a new Chinese game and like it’s a curtain fire precision shooting game. Its uber awesome. Way better than maple just that it sucks when you die then you wasted a life and press the bomb button accidentally, wasting a shot. But heck. Beats maple any day.

Oh well I’m off to tm now, Adios.

TTFN

REJECTION: Emotional rejection is basically the feeling that a human being experiences when disappointed about something that cannot be achieved. Normally, rejection is commonly related to romantic love between individuals.

GOD SAVE ME.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I mean, eventually I will go for it but it can go two ways and that sucks. Either yes or no.

What if it’s a no. Then what do I do? I just sit there and cut my wrists? Heck. I might as well get run over by a car. So this is just so pissy. All I wanted was to do it and get it over and done with. But back then I didn’t think of rejection. I mean come on. I’m a guy. Guys do that. So it goes like this. I can sit back and let this happen, OR I can work my way up from scratch and make sure that even if she says no I wont jump off a building or something.

But it’s the fear. The fear might be my downfall. I mean I screw up due to fear. HECK I COULD HAVE TAKEN WORLDS IF THERE WAS NO FEAR.

But lets face reality. I fear.

Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering..

Yoda- Star Wars Episode 1 (The Phantom Menace)

Should I do it?

I mean, to the people who know what I’m gonna do. Ambrose, Timmy, Mike, Nick and Damian.

Should i?

Would it be right if I did it? Or would it cause more problems and break me apart?

That’s my dilemma. I want to do something but I’m too afraid. And somehow, it relates in life. Like in sailing, you know you want to start in the front line instead you buy toto and have a bunch of thai guys kill you and make you lose the championship. Or like when your out with the girl of your dreams and then you want to tell her you love her but your too afraid to say it. Instead you just choose to hold her hand and send her home. Then you irritate her and ruin

ANY SINGLE CHANCE YOU HAVE WITH HER.

But well. That’s what happens to you when you fall in love with a girl 3 years younger than you. So slap my monkey and call my lawyer I declare this decision the hardest decision I have to make IN MY LIFE. I’ll figure it out. Eventually.. I mean its not like it’s a life altering decision..

Wait.. YES IT IS.

TTFN

My days online have been nothing but BORING. I mean maple’s a pain in the ass. Missing scrolls every single time I try so im telling myself, Fen, SCREW MAPLE YOU UNFUNDED SIN. If only there was like some online sailing game lol.. Hmm.. anyway im kinda sore from gym just now (tampines gym) and like I seriously have nothing to do at home now. Its like.. A borefest.

Anyway, guess wad.. I found my thumbdrive.. T_T yes. I found it. Anyway so I dun have to get another one then. I still need oaks though. And a bike. And an ipod. Oh Andrew lewis please bring my ipod back from Trinidad & Tobago.. How could you not know its mine boy. I mean who else owns an orange ipod.. Uh… I could name you a few people but yeah one of them is me. Anyway I just completed season 3 of friends now on to season 4 and 5.. which is coming tmr.. oh wad am I to do till then. No body say maple. EVER. =)

TTFN

In memory of

ign: fendi7

guild: EnternaLOVE

world: Bootes

Job: Lvl 43 Assassin

One word to describe how I feel right now,

OWWW…..

Yeah.. Gym was killer just now.. did a lot of core and upper body.. I cant even lift my hands up.. as im typing this my fingers are going “creak, creak, creak” and an occasional “crack”.

But oh wells, did a wee bit of swimming just now. I swear im not good at it cuz im like gasping for air with every stroke.. and it hurts.. haha.. so yeah.. my hair smells of chlorine despite the numerous washes with shampoo but heck.

Oh wells im off to maple again.. im hoping to hit 75% tonight and then lvl up to 42 tmr morning before prayers.. Haha.. Till next time then..

TTFN

Well, due to the rain, seems that I did not head to nsc gym today.

HOWEVER,

The guilt within me is too much so I gotta go to the sports complex gym.. haha I’ve been mapling the whole afternoon plus a bit of housecleaning today.. Yeah.. So I wont feel any guilt anymore cuz im off to the gym now and after that im goin swimming..

YES. SWIMMING.

Man for a guy who’s afraid of drowning im gonna at least try to start swimming.. haha but oh wells, im off to gym now.. be back at night den.. ciao

TTFN

The 7 week break has thus started and I for one am really bored at home.. All I can do for the moment is either maple or watch friends.. (I’m up to season 3 now.. waiting for my bro to lend me..) Anyway, fendi7 is lvl 40 now, still wearing my purple wg wa8 and the black snowshoe dex+3.. sobs.. it hurts to be poor.. anyway all I gotta say is tat maple fills up my time like shit. Like when im not watching friends I’m either chatting or mapling.

So to solve this problem, I gotta get myself a job.. I cant go 7 weeks without any cash.. I’ll die.. So yeah, waiting for timmy to get back from hong kong so we can party the night away with the others.. if not I’ll stick with boredom.. (can someone die of boredom?)

But there’s still training.. Which I kinda not going today cuz I pulled my hammy while running yesterday and den gym was so-so.. haha.. I’ll be doing gym tonight at tampines sports complex later in the evening so I guess that’s not so bad..

So yes, after a futile attempt to get my exams over and done with, I guess whats left to do is try to hit 50 by the end of june and we’ll see where I get from there..

PS: Mommy’s day was cool!

TTFN

Have been at decruz’s house the whole day since 10 in the morning. Studied for 4 hours (timmy says 5). Did pure coaching today. Feeling good so far. Exams are next Monday and I dunno if im feeling ready yet though. Ah oh wells. One can always try harder. I got no plans tmr too so im really free. I feel like heading over to the airport to mugg or smth (maybe go starbucks or coffee bean) that’s wad I call really away form distractions.

So yes. Tmr, maybe starbucks or coffee bean at airport. AWAY FROM THE COM. Probably try to clock in around 5 hours or so depends on how much I can put in. Plus its been a while since I went airport oso. Since I came back from pattaya.

So yes, I officially spent 12 hours at decruz’s crib. Productivity level?

Studying 5/10
Maple 7/10
THE GURU 10/10

TTFN