Woke up freakishly late, felt like crap when i dragged my ass out of bed to grab a shower. Now i'm sitting in front of my laptop digesting my sorrows and what not. All i wanna do these past few days is to just see you. Its the immense pain i feel deep down when i look around accepting this life as a reality binding into my soul knowing only that it tightens its grip around my neck as i gasp everyday for any amount of air i can get.

Its hard to believe me that first impressions do count and is abnormally important in presenting yourself to people. But thats how the cookie crumbles and its an unevitable fact that some people can just skip that step and blend themselves into society so freshly and easily. Its just crazy how easy it gets when your of that social status.

If i had one thing i could have undone this past week was to undo all the random nonsense that blurted out of my pie hole this past weekend. Acting like a dick certainly doesn't help in gaining respect and peers. It does the total opposite. It degrades you to a pulp and instead of peers, you have yourself look down upon. The misery of having immense emotions like mine. How very very disappointing. Losing all sorts of self control over the weekend has exhausted me in so many ways. It makes me feel like flying to Antartica or something to die mellowly and soundly knowing that noone is there watch and laugh. Truly, apathetic.