Sat was awesome, had real loads of fun at sushi, watchin you fumble at tryin to take a bite of a huge tuna roll. Plus the fact that you can't hold ur chopsticks with 3 fingers! =) haha.. hmm den friends was awesome too... made you laugh huh? yupp.. and to think you said that it doesn't make you laugh =X
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we ended up goin to town and walked alot. oh! im soooo in love with those adidas shoes i saw at paragon and wisma. but i think the white ones are nicer. (since you said so haha) hmm, den we dinnered at pastamania then headed home for the night. oh yeah, i am one superrrrr sensitive guy, or so she's found out =) noooo u've found out my weakness! im deaddd =X haha..
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sailing was not tat gd i guess. i mean yeah it feels great to be out on water and stuff but wahlau, wad the fruk happened to my handling skills and my effing wind reading siol? this sooo sucks. i have like...uhhh 2 weeks to get my A-game back? arggg. i'm starin some plyo so i guess that would help me in the long run. =X
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anyway, superrr tired plus i have this agonizing fever to get rid of. Oh how the world is crumbling onto me... =X haha...
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every minute of my every day i think to myself, how much more can i love you? so i smile, wave it off and say, 'tis but endless the love i give you and 'tis not measured by days or how much i spend, but the fact that i pour my heart out to you like a never ending waterfall of love.
can't wait for saturday to hurry up and come but then again, i'm still wondering wad we're gonna be doing on that day =X so that means i have officially 3 days to get inspired with ideas as to what i can plan to do for the whole day =)
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but then again, anything i do with you wouldn't make a difference to me as long as you're right there with me through it all girl...
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" i will never let you fall, i'll stand up with you forever... i'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven..." as i sang those words up on stage, my eyes couldn't leave you cuz you were all i was thinkin bout when i was up there strumming and humming.. you're the one darl..
spare me just my three last words... you take me to a level so high that with my hands outstretched towards the heavens, i can actually feel the clouds at my finger tips. Each time we're apart just makes me feel that i need to be with you more and more and with that i just can't help but wait as we beckon each other to join in an embrace, only to know that we will have to part and see the other sometime again.
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it is with this warmth in my heart that i know that my faith in you is true and that we can pull through no matter whatever the stakes and now that i have you by my side, i can conquer the world. it is because you exist in this world that makes me complete, filling the very depths of my soul with such glee and passion. The passion to drive through it all and the will to fight for everyday of my life just to be with you.
Today went well.. It was all wedding-ish and stuff.. Haha.. Good friday and all too! Yupp.. Woke up like way earlyzzz in the morning for the nikah then was the wedding thingy. I actually had two different baju melayu to wear today. I had to go for prayers in the silvery one which was super stuffy somemore i was prayin outside haha. I practically melted.
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Anyway, then the normal celebrations resumed at the bottom of my block with all the family and friends etc. =) it feels kinda awesome in this atmosphere but i can't say the same for my mom esp who like keeps bloody freaking out and like pushing all the stress on me when like i'm totally not at fault. So today, and just today i shall excuse her. i expect and apology the next time you piss me off mom.
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Having an ass tight migraine right now which is seriously getting on my nerves but at least friends is keeping me up and alive. =) tmr's the big day too haha
I miss you like crazy... Can't wait to see you on saturday all dressed up to impress. The stars on my arm are a representation that you're with me through all the stress I'm going through right now and i want to thank you for pulling me through my times of need. May this second month go past with the wind and carry on our devotion... Till sat.. Imy..
I screwed up the presentation. Dammit fen. Wanna fail prof studies again is it? Kanasai... Argh, nvm. Whats worse is that i don't get to see you till sat. Do you realise how farrrrr that is? ARGH. So my epim said that i have alot of stuff i need to hand up after the hols which is sooo bull crap cuz im like not ready plus my sisters wedding is also around the corner. EFFF... I'm so panicing right now. Time to practise your guardian angel more. Don't think im ready but i've got 5 days to get it right. Dammit.
How can two people who cherish each other so much, hurt each other so badly? Its like our true identity is to use that bond without fear and insecurity. Our highest potential finds us when we set our course in that direction. The power of compassion among one another transforms such insecurity. Alas, we all say its just a word. But yeah, people toss it around so much that it becomes obsolete, etched into the minds of couples all round.
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Who am i to agree with when it comes to it. Albeit a metaphysical gravity where we are all condemned to the fatal attractions that binds us to it and saps us of our emotions. It is not as if i don't see you in school everyday sitting among your bunch of friends, full of joy and without emotional distress while i can only merely fake a smile to simply show that I'm still alive in this world despite the fact that this is tearing me apart. 1 month has set me thinking and by my standings i can say that its been rough despite the fact that we have spent hours on end with each other.
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Again, who am i to agree with, be it people who claims disastrous results giving the revolting excuse of the age gap. Honestly, i don't care about it. But what's holding me back is something far worse than i can actually imagine. The outcome is seriously going to be all my fault like all the past ones i have been in. The agony of it all is that i choose the outcome. Now I'm not one to be choosy but i make wrong decisions ALOT. And by chance that i make one small error, it can all potentially go downhill from here.
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So now, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of that word. The word you dare not say without considering your feelings. Without confusion and dismay. And now, i know how you feel. I know the torture you go through each time you hear that word or in our case three words. Abbreviations don't help either because we all know what it reveals and its only going to make it worse. I now fear. Fear the use of that phrase. So please, don't shy away from it, i need you to voice up with me because we're in this together; both you and i.
'Tis not that i'm forcing you to reply, nor am i making you say it. 'Tis the way your eyes look distraught, And it hurts me bit by bit. - I await with my arms spread wide, with the everlasting warmth of my heart. It saddens me to feel so alone in this, as i cry each time we part. - What's true within me lies in your will, our everlasting embrace and each time we touch. It scares me that you're now feeling that way, but alas, is there such thing as loving too much. - Whats confusing is the abnormality of it all, be it whether i am playing my role in this. Why oh why must i feel this way, but i can't help but think there's something amiss. - sometimes..... it burns my very soul..... and it hurts sooo bad..... evanesco... 12:05 AM.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Its our anniversary and i can't even spend it with you. This frigging sucks. Bittersweet or so it seems. Its the abnormally distinguished feeling i get in the depths of my stomach each time i think of you. Its just the feeling of being miles away from you thats tearing every part of me into 2. I miss the smell of your hair, the way you laugh at my hair and those dimples of yours. Girl, i miss you so much.
12 days. We're apart for 12 whole days. Within that, 5 days of no contact whatsoever. Call me whiny but this is just plain unfair. You've just left and already i feel like dying.
When I close my eyes, I can see you, it's like you're right here. And this feeling's only getting stronger cuz you're with me everywhere.. Girl you're the one i adore, cherish, desire and love. -
ahhh wtf, no one tell me must do the stupid section one and two thingy so i go sch couldnt pay attention in class cuz had to chiong the damn thing. But finished it in the end la. It didn't feel right chionging for a friggin pass or fail but still, damn scared fail. =) -
anyway, got the warhammer game from kang, playing now =) kinda cools la, turn based strategy offence =X not too many people commented on the hair-dont so i guess i look pretty good. timmy called me fresh too =) haha still the boy next door ehh? haha. tomight's fabians class and i dunno if he's gonna tell us our results then. oooh the wait.. grr..
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you're the highlight of my year.. and its just the beginning..
There are sometimes when one smile (or dimple) can send you over the edge. When i'm with you its like the opposite of itachi's sharingan. Its like going through heaven and back.
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Today went to vivo to finish my coaching 6 week thingy while sis and ardlee went to watch foolds gold. =) sat at coffee bean till they were done. I didn't realise how boring coaching is until i started on the friggin coaching plan thingy. And to think i had to do 6 of them. =X
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Sat was really fun, fools gold was awesome, sentosa was even better. =) honestly i could be with you forever if i wanted to. each time im with you makes me wanna hold you tight and never let go. with everything you've done for me, and for us, all i can do is repay you the favor and be yours too.
