something tells me this weekend wont turn out as i had hoped it to be. Of course i'm still dejected at the fact that a handful number of people couldn't make it but nevertheless the room had already been booked and i'll try my best to enjoy it. Its just so saddening to see how plans can fail due to external circumstances (AUTians would call these threats)

after all i was pretty confident i didnt need a contingency plan for this. nevertheless my innate attempts at reviving the party i once dreamed for would be at bay. again with the fact of my impending leave for national service. just 13 days away. sad to leave? yeah duh. but i believe it is necessary for me to leave. to just escape from this all. from all the intensity that life has bestowed upon me. how i wish i could just fly away.

on a side note, i have made a mental list of stuff i told myself i had to do before my disappearance and in that list are a few things that i do not really want to do, but have to do. 'tis the agony of living the lie that disallows me to evade this. i don't know how it'd go but i do hope god will shine his light on me if i do.

oh the new year, how it beckons me to a life of maturity. alas, i fear nothing for the new year. i have thought of most possible worst case scenarios, played them in my head, and forsaw how i would react to them so that i would not be shocked, or disappointed in some cases.

berikan ku arah yang ku mesti ikuti.